Blogging Through the Recession: Tough-Times and making the Money

Sorry to get all bleak on you, but even my local paper --which normally fills its pages with heartwarming tales of grade-schoolers singing songs-- is starting to print terrible stories about factories closing, unemployment, and foreclosures. This article explores how people are coping with Tough-Times.


As the depression sinks in, people across the country are getting a little more desperate. Unemployment is rising, money to fund unemployment benefits is drying up, and even more joblessness is no doubt on the horizon.

As times get tougher, people often look for creative ways to make money amid rampant job-loss and pay-cuts. In times past, I understand that this was done in useful ways. For example, a family would plant a big vegetable garden. One older woman I spoke to recently said that her great great grandmother saved her farm by making and selling whiskey. Brilliant.

Sadly, today people are being far less useful in their creative money making schemes. Lets take a look.

CRAFTING The online market for hand crafted goods has no doubt seen a surge in supply recently. Sites like Etsy specialize in showcasing the goods produced by an army of stay at home mothers and hipsters who just learned to sew. It remains the place to go if you're in search of a "unique" gift, or if you just want to pamper yourself with a $195 pair of custom high-waisted panties.

Etsy didn't return any of my phone calls (not many people do), so I don't know exactly how much of a "surge" in supply they have seen. I assume that they are so busy dealing with said "surge" that they took their phone off the hook. Or they just laid off that department. In either case, they do have a prepared statement about the recession on their website.

"With the global economic crisis putting finances in a squeeze, Etsy is a great way to maximize a budget."

Probably not, but Etsy is clearly an untapped resource for amateur lingerie models.

USING THE INTERNET or worse, BLOGGING Not good with your hands? Mom never had a sewing machine to give you? That's no reason to give up on alternative money making schemes.

I hate to get into this because it hits a little close to home, but seriously. The internet is obviously not a place anyone makes money. Look at the music industry. Even newspapers are going out of business because online ads don't bring in as much revenue as print. Worse yet, there are fewer people advertising because the usual advertisers are hemorrhaging money too.

Still, Craigslist is awash with people seeking talent for their sweet new blog. Take this recent post on the NYC page:

We are a growing web blog in Hollywood and in need of good writers to submit daily posts. If you like to write and want to get your point of view published, this is a perfect outlet. Please send your resume and writing sample of a current event to iwant2write@me.com. There will be further information on the job if your material is selected. Snarky is a plus!

Right, In Touch magazine is struggling to pay their rent, But YOU, a snarky armchair Hollywood gossip monger in Queens, you are going to make the big bucks. You'd probably have better luck selling goji-juice door to door.

Speaking of Goji-juice, there are other sordid internet schemes you could get involved in. Take this guy, Sean Flynn. Self proclaimed Top Internet Marketing Coach. Look at this kid! Love the self portrait. And what a sharp dresser. I bet he makes A/B honor roll almost every time.

Anyway, after no doubt falling victim to the very scheme he is now trying to perpetrate on others, he is claiming to offer a "lucrative recession-proof business that can explode your bank account over night." Despite a complete absence of information on his completely useless and alienating web Site, I gather that he is trying to sell you an "Ebook," full of ultra-secret internet money getting "tips." Meaning, you are going to try and sell the same useless "Ebook" that you just bought, to people even stupider than you. Good Luck!

So against all these odds, what's a body to do? Well, there has been a lot of talk recently about recession proof jobs. Like, be a teacher or a police officer, stuff like that. That's all good and well for some people, but for the power-players among us, I'll tell you.

(1)Make Babies. The most capable among us have turned to farming out their bodies for baby production. This shocking practice encourages "experienced carriers" to pump out little bratts for sale to the rich and childless. Though, as deplorable as the practice may seem, at least these surrogate mothers are producing a (potentially) useful and unique product. Once the kid reaches working age, he's like a little pot of gold.

(2) Make whiskey or grow weed(the new making whiskey). Sell it locally. OR if you don't know many people locally, you could always steal stuff from peoples homes and sell it on Ebay. Police departments are under funded now too, maybe.